Hitting My Wall And Breaking Through

In June, I hit the wall*.  It’s not my first wall, and it won’t be my last, but I have broken through this one, brick by brick.   I hit my wall in June after a personal disappointment  and  became less active in social media.  Not as a blogger, but as member of the community.  I had given up on some goals I had originally set and  I couldn’t shake the feeling I had nothing left to offer, until this past Sunday. September 1st, I started a morning routine that I have committed to doing for 40 days.  It’s some deep breathing and mediation.  (And yes, I have had to start my 40 days over after skipping my third day; and yes I will be blogging about that once I complete it.) Back to my point: Sunday morning, I opened my eyes at the end of my routine and my answer was staring me right in the face.  It was a dry erase board filled with ideas, topics and goals on it.  I realized I was not disappointed because of what happened.  I was disappointed because of what had not happened.  This dry erase board was crying out to be read.  These were my ideas and my stranded ideas had been subconsciously begging me to release them from their two dimensional prison.  (Cut to Superman 2 and those villains hurling through space in their triangle.) So, I’m setting them in motion.   First, I added another FaceBook page, The Mighty Turtle That Could. It’s entirely devoted to activity.  Not all patients are into or able to do activities so I made it separate.  So far, I have been the only participant, but eventually, someone else will share.   In addition to my Facebook page, I added an online publication of the same name.   My original idea was a page to get patients moving, but I remembered not all patients should or can move; so, I made it about activities.  This could be just some simple deep breathing, “head bopping”(Lexie) to some music and of course exercise.  I want people to share their success, goals

If you are able, you can share this publication with friends and family through social media like Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Linkedin and more.  By sharing, you can do more than just raise awareness; you can help patients, family members, friends and caregivers who feel isolated find others who are in the same boat.
My experience with social media has shown me I am far from alone with scleroderma, sarcoidosis, depression and coping with progressive degenerative diseases.  My very first friend with scleroderma, I met on Twitter.  She lives in Denmark and I am close with  Another, in Indiana.  We are all truly in this together, and there are no geographical boundaries, thanks to social media.

So, as the bricks fall from my wall,  I have accepted I do not type as fast as I can think.  My thoughts flow through my hands as they have always done, so voice recognition software is not an option.  I suppose it could be if I tried, but it makes me feel good that I can still create with my hands.
Thank you for continuing to read this blog.  I hope you will visit other writers on my blog roll and www.sclerodermablog.com Reading the blogs of other patients and topics other than Scleroderma and Sarcoidosis not only helps to raise awareness, but reminds us we are not alone and we are not our diagnosis.
If you blog and you would like to add your post to The Mighty Turtle That Could publication or find one you would like me to include, contact me through FaceBook or Twitter
*If you are unfamiliar with term, “Hitting the wall.” It’s a term most often used by athletes, but it can be applied to personal ambitions as well.  In this scene, from Run Fat Boy Run, Simon Pegg’s character is brilliantly shown breaking though his wall near the end of a marathon. Here is the set up:  His character is not a marathon runner, but runs a marathon in attempt to win over his former fiancé he left at the alter years before.  Before he busts through his “wall”, Pegg’s character has to face his feelings.  To me, it is a very powerful scene about how no matter how many people we have supporting us, we still feel alone.  We need to face our fears and feelings we have stuffed in order to feel connected with those supporting us.   Click Here to watch.  Please comment if you have felt this way.

One Comment

  1. Comment by Chris Dean:

    You’re singing my song! Every time I think I’m home free, leaving the fallen ruble behind me, I turn around and am face-to-face with a new one.
    All we can do is keep pushing. Thanks for reminding me of that!