My Not Exactly 14 Hour Lipstick Moment

Do you ever see those 14 hour lipstick commercials?  You know, beautiful young women in their twenties doing something professional like rolling out blue prints, dressed in a curve hugging dress, eating pot stickers with chopsticks right out of the take-out box for lunch.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, Karen, that’s no commercial- that was yesterday.  Well, not for me.  The other day,  I went out for coffee wearing a novelty men’s t-shirt.  Today, I am wearing another men’s novelty t-shirt and tomorrow, you guessed it- another men’s novelty t-shirt.  See the pattern?  Oh, I still wear my lipstick.  Just no curve fitting dress.  Tomorrow, lunch will be a protein bar or PB&J.  When did this happen?  When did I become this men’s t-shirt, make-up-yoga-pants-wearing Hobbit?  I sat on my couch tonight watching a 14 hour lipstick commercial during The Big Bang Theory wondering, “Did I even HAVE a lipstick moment?”

I guess that was supposed to happen during my twenties.  Of course, I look back and I remember my twenties full of doctor’s appointments and tests.  Sometimes, I feel like scleroderma robbed me of my “Lipstick Moment”.  But wait, I did something else in my twenties.  There was a time before scleroderma and it did involve wearing all white to work sometimes.  When I was 22, I was in the Navy (yes this video does make me feel a little badass, I would have chosen better music).   I kind of had my “14 hour lipstick” moment. I probably had more than one, but the one I remember most vividly happened not in a big building with blue prints in a tight fitting dress.  It happened on board a ship, somewhere in the Indian Ocean.   I wasn’t wearing white at the time, I was wearing my working blues.  Back then it was bell bottoms and a light blue shirt, often referred to as prison couture.

The galley just got the soft serve ice cream machine working, or maybe it always worked and I never noticed it.  It does’t matter.  My friend Samantha and I were sitting at a table enjoying our ice cream cones.  Now, keep in mind we were out to sea on a ship and that’s a very lonely place, so please don’t judge the subjects I talk about.  Sometimes we all have a moment where we can’t stop looking.   Anyway, Sam and I  were enjoying our ice cream cones at a table in the ship’s galley.  It was very hot and our cones were melting fast.  I had almost finished the top of my cone, when I looked up from our conversation.   Every male in my line of site was staring at us.  Apparently, eating an ice cream cone is interesting to men.  I made a motion to Sam, slapped her on the shoulder and pointed to the nearest male.  We both looked at him.  He looked frightened and turned bright red.  Sam and I looked at each other and laughed.  The galley became noisy again.  We finished our cones and headed back to work.

My life today is far from a supper-model-14-hour-lipstick moment.  Or is it?  I did get hit on while wearing my mens novelty t-shirt to coffee the other day.  Maybe it was the lipstick or my snappy wit.   Maybe I’m just as hot as I was at twenty two.  Maybe at 41 my wisdom

woman with contracted hands applying lipstick.

Circa 2003 at 5 months pregnant.

and intelligence adds to my hotness.  And maybe ducks will fly out of my belly button.  Who cares?  I still got hit on while wearing a men’s novelty t-shirt and yoga pants and what I think look like goofy hands.  I’ve still got it.  We all do. Sometimes we just need to be reminded, more importantly, we need to remind ourselves.  I rarely feel like the hot chic, but my inner hot chick is there and it shows itself.  Your hot chick or hot guy is still in there.  Don’t neglect him/her and let him/her out every now and then. And remember, sometimes our hot chick/dude is showing whether we know it or not.  Now dance. 


1 thought on “My Not Exactly 14 Hour Lipstick Moment

Comments are closed.