What’s The Point?

By Karen | Filed in Scleroderma
Detour sign

Will it really make a difference if we get scleroderma to trend June 3?

Let’s start with more questions.  Because isn’t the journey what it’s all about?  No?
Well how about this:  It’s what Yoda would do.

Don’t worry, Young Jedi.  As always, there is an option to skip to the end.  What is most important, is that you get the point.  I’ll never know you didn’t read it all.  I just want to relay a message and I hope that you share it.   (Scroll down to where the “Detour” sign was supposed to be.)  

I ask myself this type of question often:  Will it really make a difference if I write about scleroderma or any disease?

I don’t have thousands of followers.  If you look at my Twitter numbers, I follow more people, than those who follow me.  I follow patients, doctors, caregivers, foundations and celebrities, and I don’t care about my numbers.  I follow because I hope that someone may see something useful, and pass it on to someone else.  Does that make a difference?

If I judged what I do based on my numbers, I would have given up long ago.  Let’s face it.  I am not market driven.  And no matter how much I scramble to cover things like education or  travel expenses- or not, depending on what’s in the bank- I can’t see the rationale behind starting a non-profit.  Why?  So I can create yet another community that probably charges for access to information?  No, there are plenty of online communities that provide free access, information, and doing a wonderful job.  Plus, I like the idea of being able to have access to these communities.  It makes more sense to be a part of what’s going on instead of isolating ideas and people.  Plus, if I see a problem with a community, I can support those I know to be legitimate.  People are creating empires based on the suffering of others.  We can all work together, without membership fees, because most patients can’t afford them, and there are lots of donors who can.  We just have to get the word out to let them know we are here.

Who are “we”?

Well, we don’t have a catchy title like “cancer” after our unrecognizable names.  Yeah, I said it.  We need a cure for cancer.  We need access to care for all patients with cancer.  We have the capabilities, yet people STILL have to walk, raise money and rally around families to be able to afford treatment of cancer.  Does anyone else see the problem with this?  The problem is not only cancer.  The problem is that patients STILL have to fight and raise money to PAY for cancer treatment.  That’s the problem.  Cancer has brought the level of care higher for all long term chronic illnesses.  Yes, the problem is there is no cure.  And an even bigger problem is later detection because of financial reasons.  Raise your hand if you know someone who had/has cancer and it was detected at a later stage because of lack of insurance.    We all know someone, don’t we?  And with all the walks and bracelets that read “BOOBIES”, people are still dying of breast cancer.

Everyone has heard of cancer.

That doesn’t mean we should have to fight each other to get research funds, but we do.  We fight with ads, bracelets, publicity, made for TV movies and fundraisers.  Let’s face it, it’s working.  We have come a long way with cancer research.  And research for cancer has led the way for long term care, hospice care and cosmetic surgery.  Mastectomies and reconstruction is now covered by insurance.  So, if you have insurance, you have a chance.  A fighting chance.

Don’t abandon cancer.  Just add awareness of other conditions.

Scleroderma has been referred to as a “niche disease”.  Not as many people get scleroderma as cancer.  On the surface, that’s true, but there are many different types of cancer.  Scleroderma is an autoimmune disease.  And there are many types of autoimmune diseases.  How many?  Well, that depends on who you ask.  I know of one so-called activist who told me, she has fibromyalgia, but chooses to focus on her lupus because she felt that fibromyalgia wasn’t a “real” disease.  But you know what?  What if that’s just what I thought she said.  What if I just mentioned that to angry up your blood to move you to activism?  Or what if I had a non-profit and I said that to move you to donate?

Is it a mind game, or is it real?

When I first had the symptoms of scleroderma, I was told I was an “Hysterical female”.  And yes, that was real.  Like many patients with a chronic illness with no visible symptoms, I too asked myself: Is this real?

You know what I also wonder?  What if I didn’t have veteran’s benefits?  If the disease didn’t kill me first, I probably would have died in childbirth.    Every day I find a Facebook status about some fighting for their healthcare.  That’s right, fighting for care for their own illness.

Not to mention by the time most are diagnosed with a chronic illness, they have lost their income, and are fighting for benefits they paid into because assholes like Rush Limbaugh insist on calling things like Social Security and Medicare, “entitlement programs”.  Yes, people like me who have worked since age 15, or raised a family and want to live on the government teet, near poverty.   Look, every system has it’s abusers.  There is always a way to cheat the system – any system.  So, let’s make it so people won’t die because they have to choose between medicine and food.  People do it every day.  I am not one of them and I am one of the lucky ones.  That’s because I am a veteran.  If I had been diagnosed with scleroderma before I entered the Navy, I would have been tossed out before boot camp  relying  on Social Security and living with family.  But, you know what, I would have been dead by now.

But Karen, you don’t know you would be dead without veteran’s benefits.

But I do.  I have the luxury of walking into any Veteran’s Hospital ER and getting treated for what I have, because I was given 100% service connected disability rating in 1996.  Not now, while there is a 2 year backlog.  In fact, if I have a grave emergency, I don’t have to go all the way to the nearest veteran’s hospital.  I can go into any emergency room and get the care I need and bill the VA.  Sure, it’s a mess of paperwork, but if I am in grave danger, it’s covered.

My initial onset of symptoms was numbness and tingling in my hands.  I was smoker in my early 20′s, so I would have written it off and cut down, or quit and then just write it off as normal.  Who knows how long I would have waited to receive care.  You know,I have gone on long enough.  My onset of symptoms is for a whole other post.

 

Okay, if you skipped to the end:

Why make scleroderma trend?  Let’s do something that costs NOTHING.  No membership fees, no advertising costs or Facebook ads.  Let’s do what the Kardashians do, and go viral.  Let’s make our voices heard by yelling something most people have never even heard of.  Let’s make our voices heard without scary pictures, frightening phrases or braclets that cost $1.00 plus shipping and handling.  Let’s break all the rules Monday, June 3rd.  If you are at work, you will probably be in front of a computer anyway, or looking to kill some time on your phone.  Let’s do this with corny phrases, pictures of walks or those we love who were lost.  Use dirty jokes.  Someone out there has the creativity to use scleroderma in The Aristocrats, I just know it!  Yes, yes I did just link to a Bob Saget Video.  I hate it when guys say there are going to call you, then don’t.  It’s okay.  I ruin The Aristocrats or piss my pants trying to tell it. (A whole other post)

Scleroderma is not fun.  Awareness is not fun either.  Sure, events around awareness are fun like walks or gatherings, but when I am made acutely aware of scleroderma by a new complication, that is not fun.  Or when I am reminded by my curled hands getting injured, or when someone asks, “What happened to your hand?” I look around the room,  before I realize I have a large bandage on my hand, because I am so “aware”, I forget there is something wrong.

I’ll add more updates before the big day we make scleroderma trend.  Right now, I need you to help me get the message out so we can do this.  Please share information about June 3rd.  Let’s set the trend, all of Us.

For more:

Watch the Bob Saget Video. Watch it to the end.  The eye socket chat is worth it.  Not for the kids!

Want to make a tax deductible donation? Find a non-profit that does patient education and research, or doesn’t charge a membership fee to access information.

Want to do some shopping?  Go to my online store.  None of it is tax deductible.

 

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sarcoidosis

Yes, you read that correctly.  This morning, I have an appointment for a consultation for kineseology, than a driving adaptation test in LA.  That’s about 120 miles away.

I have had a sore throat for about two days now, then this morning I woke up with a cough.   Time to go into fight mode, and rest.

Plugging through a cold may result in making it harder for my body to fight it.  Because of my comprised esophagus due to Barrat’s, esophageal reflux scarring and open epiglottis, I am even more susceptible to an infection in my lungs.  I cannot let this get worse.  So, if anyone needs me, I will be the couch.  I’ll probably occasionally do something online because resting can be boring.  Right now, I’m going back to sleep.

I would love to write more, but I’m resting, so if you could, please read about how we lost the great Bernie Mac to pneumonia.  Bernie Mac had Sarcoidosis.

Also, learn about patients living with sarcoidosis by checking out Caring Hands Sarcoidosis Network of Michigan and Life with Sarcoidosis on twitter and  The Bernie Mac Foundation.

Have a great day everyone, I’ll be resting!

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Chasing Dragons

By Karen | Filed in Scleroderma

Trying to keep up with each organ system effected by the progression of scleroderma is like chasing dragons.  I don’t know what to look for, so the dragons taunt me with a hint here, and a clue there.

I have pulmonary fibrosis.  It can exist alone or be part of an associated condition.  Pulmonary fibrosis is an associated condition of scleroderma for me. Parts of my lungs have scarred and become fibrotic.  Funny thing about that is the strain of my lungs working harder can also put a strain on my heart.  Or I could have pulmonary hypertension.

I know there may be friends and family recoiling in horror while reading this, (If this a surprise, I truly am sorry.  And if you are that far behind you really should follow my turtle page on Facebook.  Keeping up with this is exhausting.  I’ve had this diagnosis for a long time.  We all know where this is going in about 50 years.  I just might need a lung transplant on the way.  Again, if this is a surprise, we really need to connect on FB.)

I’m the protagonist in a dark comedy.  (Which could be a result of an over inflated opinion of myself, but that’s a whole other post.) Of all the medical names for things I have had bounced off of me, my internal voice sounds like Amy Poehler in a round of “Really?” with Seth Meyers.  The most exhausting thing about all of this, is having to fight for tests to get ahead of the mayhem of scleroderma and its associated conditions.

 

I Move Like Jagger, I Just Don’t Look As Cool

Mick Jagger’s is 69 and he can move around on stage like he does, because he stays in shape.  When I’m 69, I plan to move that way. Without all that head moving and hands-on-the-hips thing.  I’m cool, but not Mick Jagger-cool.  I said I can move like Jagger, I don’t have the moves like Jagger. 

If I stay in shape, I have a better chance of a favorable outcome when the disease progresses.

Wench!  Bring Me More Viagra! 

I am taking Viagra four times a day to keep blood flow to my fingers and toes, as well as normalizing the pressure in my lungs.  I know this, because if I skip a dose of Viagra, I know it.   I stay as active as possible.  I take long walks, go hiking and do martial arts.  If I don’t get some cardio, I feel it the next day.  In my head (And by in my head, I mean it’s what I think, but it’s probably not true.)  So, In my head, I believe I am somehow staying ahead of the progression, somehow breaking up the fibrosis with my magic exercise.  Abra-freakin-cadabra.  During my exercise I have no distress, except the occasional fall in Krav Maga (Israeli Martial Arts) which all students experience.

The Viagra makes it so I can do these things without causing damage.  Which is fine.  I’m okay with that, but like all treatments, they are no cure.  Eventually, I’m going to need more Viagra or a whole new drug.  But while I’m on Viagra, we should get to know my heart.  Because when lungs have difficulty that gets progressively worse, the heart can be damaged.

So Let’s Get a Baseline
Sounds so simple, doesn’t it?  We know enough about scleroderma and related conditions like pulmonary fibrosis, an echocardiogram  (1)”…estimate  PASP (Pulmonary Artery Systolic Pressure) in patients with advanced lung disease such as interstitial lung disease and chronic obstructive lung disease can be difficult to obtain”

Okay, so since we have pulmonary fibrosis with scleroderma and tricuspid regurgitation (That is asymptomatic for me.) there is more than one study that calls for a right heart catherization.  (It’s just a test, don’t freak out.)

So, as I mentioned earlier, getting a baseline seems simple.  We want one so that we know if a condition is progressing.  Let’s see what my normal is so that when “shit gets real”, we can quantify changes and treat effectively.  

Apparently, there are doctors, who believe that a baseline is not necessary, without a diagnosis of pulmonary hypertension.

It could be called a challenge.  I call it a day that ends in “Y”.
Challenges for tests are nothing new to me.  When this happens, someone is lacking information.  When this happens, it becomes my responsibility to get the practitioner the information.  I made a case to rheumatology, they concur and some department head will have a come to Jesus moment.  It’s all good.
When I’m told “no”, I find a way to get to yes.  And I have never even read that book.  I switch to sales mode.   What can I do do to get you in to this car, today? 

What’s with the dragons?
Today was just one of those days. This was the third follow up appointment about a right heart cath, because the Chief of Rheumatology had been out of the country. We needed some seniority to get this heart cath done.  I felt like I was chasing something during my appointment, then I thought:  hey, why not make it a dragon?  Then once we were all in agreement that my test would take place, I felt like I was ready to ride.  Because that’s really all this is.  You get the diagnostic tools, the results will dictate the next move.  The test is coming.  I’ve caught the dragon.  Why not go for a ride?  It will be bumpy and scary, but it’s just a dragon.   Maybe I should have used an airplane metaphor, because on planes they serve drinks, and on a metaphoric plane, I can drink.  Dragons sounded really good on my drive home from the VA Hospital today.  I’m too tired to redo this.

If You Skipped to the End:
When a doctor tells me a test I need can’t be done because the chief of that department where the test is needed from doesn’t want to play, that chief just needs more information.  I could get mad and pitch a fit, but I have found anger a waste of time.

If you find yourself fighting for tests, please don’t give up, keep fighting.  I know it sucks.  It won’t get easier, but eventually, you will get used to it.  Of course it sucks.  But life is what you make it and complaining without action will get you no where. You wil find ourself walking information to doctors.   There are a lot of crazy diseases no one has heard of, so it;s our job as our own best advocate to get info where needed.   Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.  Then, get to work.  

Get More Information

Join me with Treatment Diaries Tuesday, May 7, for a Tweet Chat!  Watch for announcement on Facebook.

(1) The Role of Echocardiography in the Diagnosis and Assessment of Pulmonary Hypertension

Right Heart Catherizaton, Johns Hopkins Medicine.

Scleroderma Research Foundation

The Scleroderma Foundation

Scleroderma Care Foundation

Pulmonary Hypertension Association

Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation

 

 

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Even crazier, we are going to do this without spending a single cent.

OUR OBJECTIVE

Scleroderma will trend on Twitter world-wide, June 3, 2013, not by tweeting the same thing over and over.  We will do it with tweets, retweets and modified tweets.  This is the campaign I am  proposing.  This is not my campaign.   This is OUR campaign.  This is a world-wide campaign.  When I refer to us, I mean we, Planet Earth.

The trend will be #scleroderma, but there are many associated conditions I am asking that we all unite to encourage patients to reach outside the parameters of their diagnosis for information.

For example: Lets say you are diagnosed with Lupus.  You find that you are short of breath and your fingers are getting numb for no reason.  There may be a secondary diagnosis that could lead to effective treatment, but maybe you live in an area and don’t have access to specialists familiar with  associated conditions.  Symptoms are written off as just “part of your Lupus”, but there may be treatment used for other conditions that may help these symptoms.  What I am trying to say is that we need to change treatment of these diseases to follow the route of progression of symptoms, not the parameters that confine us by diagnosis (For God’s same someone please comment and let me know if this makes sense.  I’m working without a net here.  Thanks!)

You’ve read this far, so I’m going to assume that you are in.  If not, allow me to apply the “Peter Griffin Persuasion” :
Come on!  Come On!

Okay, good.  Moving on…

OUR MESSAGE

This campaign will have a consistent message of awareness, education and humor.  Here are suggested ideas:

1.  Facts about scleroderma.

2.  Funny anecdotes of observations by those touched by scleroderma.

3.  Memorial tweets always encouraged.  Share a happy memory of someone you lost to scleroderma.

4.  Pictures from walks or fundraisers.

5.  Retweets and Modified Tweets of facts, information or funny stories.

6.  Be positive.
Avoid posts like: “Scleroderma sucks, it kills people”, or  ”Scleroderma is a slow, painful disfiguring death.”  We already know this.  Let’s get the facts out in a positive way.   There is no argument those quotes are true, but by staying positive, we inspire and educate.  Yes, scleroderma is scary, but sceroderma patients are not alone.  Let’s not teach with fear.

7.  Do not tweet to celebrities or anyone in a spam-like manner. (edited 5/4/13)
If you have a celebrity you hope will participate, try a friendly email and ask them.  (You know, If I could get a celebrity to comment on this, that would be awesome.)  Celebrities are people who receive hundreds of tweets a day asking for help with causes.  A friendly email is a more personal way to ask.  An email will put a face on your cause.  And if you receive no response, do not shame the celebrity.  Please.  I know many people will tweet friendly, but I want to just set some guidelines. I have seen some weird stuff on Twitter.

8.  Don’t tweet the same tweet over and over.
Yes, getting Scleroderma to trend worldwide is all about numbers, but the purpose of getting scleroderma to trend is raising awareness and education.  Let’s make every tweet count.  Yes, numbers help, but getting just one person to read our tweet helps educate about scleroderma.  In short: Numbers good.  Education better.

DOING THIS AT NO COST… TO ANYONE

June is Scleroderma Awareness Month.  This Tweeting Event on June 3 is to get everyone in on it.  non-profits need to compete for funds.  It’s not a bad thing, it just is.  Because non-profits can’t always work with other non-profits to share information having this open event benefitting no one organization makes everyone “Free to move about.”

Shall we give it a Name?

Twitter is like a giant sandbox where the whole world is welcome to play.  So, Let’s Play in the Sandbox for Scleroderma.  It doesn’t matter what your diagnosis is.  Breakthroughs in research benefit all chronic illnesses, deadly diseases and ways of caregiving.  After June 4, 2013 if others find this model adaptable to their cause, I hope they will use it.  This is a project does not belong to The Mighty Turtle.  It is for us all because we are in this together, and together we are stronger.

You don’t have to join to participate, but if you wish join the event, here it is on Facebook, or ask to be added to the group Let’s Play! on Twitter.

So, If you skipped to the end:

Tweet any time between 12am,  & 11:59 June 3, 2013 Pacific time.  Tweet as often or as little as you like, something relevant with #scleroderma in it.  Let’s Play in The Sandbox For Scleroderma and get #Scleroderma to trend WORLD WIDE on Twitter.  I will be posting tweets about scleroderma every 10 minutes- maybe faster depending on if I can stay out of “Twitter Jail”.  RT what I tweet or tweet your own story, picture or whatever with the hashtag #scleroderma.  If you don’t tweet you can be a great help by  sharing this on FB before and the day of the event.

Remember:  Do NOT tweet celebrities and keep it positive.  No money will be spent to advertise this event.  Period.  We can do this with the power of us.  Let’s set the trend June 3, 2012.

We can be the difference by wearing a T-shirt during a run or with one tweet. This is The Power of Us. We will never know the true reach of a simple gesture that can mean the world to another.

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Votre Vu & Me.

By Karen | Filed in Product Reviews & Amazon Store

As I have mentioned,  I want tax-deductable donations to go to research and organizations.  So, I have becme a Brand Ambassadr for Votre Vu to cover expenses like fees for events and travel.  Sure, I guess I could fundraise, but I also want to drive a nicer car someday if things go really well with Votre Vu.

 

Maybe I’m too honest.

I have been looking for  a product I feel confident about sharing with fellow patients, friends and family.  Votre Vu is it.  So, I can work to cover expenses of my volunteer work and if things go really well, get a nicer car and sleep well at night.

Thank you for reading my shameless plug.

You can find my Votre Vu Facebook page Here

On Twitter Here

And shop online Here

Thank you!

This is my avatar on Twitter. Is it just me, or does my head look enormous in this picture?

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Surprise! I have toes!

By Karen | Filed in Current Events

I have been attending Krav Maga consistently and something happened tonight.

You know that “Soldier Crawl”?   I had modified it using my forearms and knees.  Today,  I was crawling, and quite naturally, my toes took over for my knees.  It felt natural, and surprised me.  It only happened twice, but it happened.   I did the “soldier’s crawl” as it was supposed to be done,  for a few moments.

This is kind of how I felt when realized my footing was getting better.

 

I tell myself every day that if I keep moving, my range of motion will come back.  I know it will never be what it was before, but there is potential and now realistic hope my range will improve.

I had another revelation: My toes are not useless.  They’re just fused and different, but they are not lost.

I’m encouraged, exhausted and sore.   The good kind of sore.

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Jedi Wound Care

By Karen | Filed in Scleroderma

Jedi Wound Care

Last night, there was a “scab” on my middle finger  MCP.  The skin around it was swollen and red.  It was hot to the touch.  I decided to use  non-stick gauze cover it and applied antibiotic ointment.

I’ve Been Slimed!

Two house later, I took a peak and there was – for lack of a better term, green slime.  I removed the dressing and prepared myself for a relaxing soak.

De-Sliming Protocol Engaged

I filled  bowl with warm water and hydrogen peroxide.  I soaked for about ten minutes.  The slime was drawn out by the warm water and the peroxide cleaned the tissue.  Note: Never soak in straight peroxide.  Always mix with water.  Ask your doctor or a wound care health practitioner at your next doctor’s appointment for advice about soaking.  It’s not that anyone is withholding secrets: Appointments have time limits.  Put this question on your list.

I soaked my hand for almost 10 minutes.  I took it out of the water frequently because I was curious and impatient.  That’s how I made the time pass quickly.    When my hand was immersed in the water/peroxide solution, I could see the “slime” float away from the wound like wafting cigarette smoke.

When finished with my soak, I rinsed with sterile saline solution.  (Warm water will do if no saline)  I gently dabbed away remaining slime that was now yellowish-white, and allowed it to dry for about 45 minutes.

That’s A Wrap People

It’s not always possible, but after soaking if you can let the wound dry out before covering, skin is less likely to break down.  Don’t sweat it if you need to cover it and go.  Just use non-stick gauze with no ointment to let the gauze absorb moisture.  Bring some ointment and supplies for a clean dressing change with ointment later.

Once the wound is dry, apply ointment to gauze straight from tube.  By applying to gauze, you are not compromising the ointment by applying directly to tissue, and you won’t need to use a cotton swab.  A cotton swab to the wound may not sound “traumatic” but it has been my experience, the less I touch the wound, the better.

So, a dollop of ointment to the gauze, then apply tape to back of gauze and smooth tape gauze side down over wound.  If you have Colban (stretch it- you dont want it to be constricting.) or a thin way to wrap the wound, great.  I have uses a thin ankle sock with holes cut for fingers and thumb when I don’t have something.   I roam around the house in tape & gauze, but when active, I wrap it for extra protection.

The Law of Attraction

I don’t know about you, but when I have a healing wound, if I’m going to bump into something, I will bump it with my wound.  Yep.  I have tried to be more aware and cautious, but that only seems to make it more likely to bump or bang it into something.  I call it The Danger Prone DaphneEffect.  So, rather than fight it, I wrap it.  So, yeah, the sock is not crazy.  Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!

And now, some before and after pictures.  Try not to be eating.  If you have question’s please post them in comments.  If I don’t know the answer, I will find one or send you to a source that could.  

See the hole? That is surrounded by tissue that was once swollen, then drained by soaking. Notice the redness around the tissue surrounding the hole. Never, ever puncture a wound. Soak it and let it drain. The implement used to “break” it will introduce bacteria that can make it worse. This picture was taken last night. The anatomical location is my middle finger knuckle attached to my hand or MCP. Still wondering, go to link provided for hand anatomy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"after" picture of infected wound.  fluid gone, selling gone and healing.

This morning: The tissue is not as yellow as it appears. I left these photos unedited because it did not help. The redness present last night around the swollen tissue is gone. The area is sore, but only if I press on it, not to the touch. It is also no longer “warm”. When I removed the dressing this morning, the tissue was wet and beginning to break down, so I have left it to air dry this morning to allow my skin to regain some integrity before showering. After I shower I will let this air dry for an hour before rewrapping and setting out for my active day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hand Anatomy 

For more information about Scleroderma and related conditions, please visit:

Scleroderma Research Foundation

Scleroderma Foundation

Scleroderma Care Foundation

FESCA

The Raynaud’s Association

Pulmonary Hypertension Association

Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation

And a word from our sponsor: Me

Votre Vu

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We Get Lot’s of Advice

By Karen | Filed in Sarcoidosis, Scleroderma

Chronic illness or not, we get a lot of unsolicited advice.

When I was pregnant, I had heartburn.  According to my Aunt Enes,  I was getting heartburn because my baby had hair.  It couldn’t be the baby  kicked my stomach around like a flat, acid filled soccer ball.  No.  My baby had hair.  Which I guess is rare for mammals?

Okay, bad example because she gave no advice, just her opinion, but it’s always a great story.  She tells me what she believes, because she cares.  Don’t we all have people who tell us things because they care.     Yes, we do.  Even you, J.D. Salengers  -if you lock yourself away, your inner voices will get to you, eventually.

Here is a great example of some bad advice I received in the 90′s.

“You know Karen, you should try cayenne.  It’s great for circulation”.

Yes, it sure is.  Not only is it great for circulation, it’s a great way to exacerbate reflux, a common related condition to scleroderma.  Oh yeah.  Good times.  Forest Gump once said to Jenny, “Sometimes, there just aren’t enough Tums.”  He was right about that.  Yep.

Out of all the advice and recommendations we receive, no advice should be listened to and tried more than the advice of our own doctors.  Sure, we all run into quacks, but we shouldn’t be discouraged.  Most doctors got into it because they wanted to help people.  Some loose their way, but many truly want to do their best.

Listen to fellow patients, talk with friends about your treatment if you are about to try something new.  Go over the risks and benefits.  ALL medications and treatments have side effects.  You will never know how they will effect you, if you don’t try them.  But before you do try a new treatment, do your homework.  Seek out fellow patients and learn from their experience.  Know what you are about to put into your body.  A chronic illness has a great way of making people feel helpless, but we are never helpless.  We may not get the outcome we want, but we may get the outcome that works, even if it takes a few adjustments.

So, if you skipped to the end:

We all get lots of unsolicited advice.  Of all the advice we get, the source we should listen closest to is our doctors and medical practitioners.

Yes, we have to try many things before we find what’s works and you’ll ask, “What am I, a guinea pig?!

Don’t despair.  Here is Randy, in “Honebadger Narrates The Guinea Pig” – Oh how precious!

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All my travel, education and maintenance for The Mighty Turtle, is covered by me.  I seek no sponsors, because when someone writes a check, there is an obligation of loyalty for their support.  That’s something I put upon myself, but hey, I like sleeping at night.

Here’s why I don’t seek sponsors:  I am free to say what I want.  I can support, or not support any non-profit I wish based on my perspective as a patient.  I can make jokes that are more adult than PG-13.  I did consider becoming a non-profit, but I want all tax deductible donations to go to research and eduction by existing non-profits doing outstanding work.  I just do not see a point in the wasted expense of  corporate fees for my silly blog.  The thing is, I’m not just a blog.  I volunteer my time and I attend education events.  These things cost money.  I am “lucky” enough to have disability benefits from the Veteran’s Administration and access to world class healthcare, but I’d like to attend fundraiser to show those who contribute that people can lead productive lives once symptoms are under control.  I am in a remission-esque state.  My prognosis is good and I’m feeling good.

I have had a lot of kindness bestowed upon me by people I have never met in person, who send well wishes, prayers and thoughts.  I have also met many who do not have access to health care.  Good people fighting for disability benefits, and vilified by the media and neighbors for seeking help while fighting for their lives.  And once they get help, they are “awarded” a pittance that is gobbled up by medication copays, food and rent.  And while they live on these benefits, they endue ridicule from people who think they don’t deserve it.  It’s not that there is a majority of douce nozzles who vilify the sick, poor and elderly.  There certainly is an abundance of douche nozzles, but it has been my experience that they are the minority.  Douche nozzles just yell the loudest, so they are the ones being heard.  I want to change that.

The thing about being an activist is, in order to go places and do things, I require money to get to events.  Some activists are lucky to be self sufficient.  Some work a full time job and do activism in their off time.  Some have benefactors or sponsors to help their work.  My problem was, I needed funds to go places and do things to further my mission, but I did not feel comfortable asking for donations or working for a non-profit. I am also in no condition to hold down a full time job.  If I need to rest, I need to be able to rest and recover. Now, I have a solution.

Yesterday, I became a Brand Ambassador or sales rep for Votre Vu.  Everyone has skin, it’s a product line I can stand behind and feel comfortable recommending to others.   I get to use my unique set of skills as a manicurist and beauty school drop out.  Sure, yoga pants and novelty t-shirts are a staple in my closet, but I know skin care.  Working as a Brand Ambassador for Votre Vu will help with expenses to get out, and show the world that high quality health care and the right treatment; not most cost effective treatment, saves lives.

So, in order to get my business going, I have started a Facebook page and Twitter.  This way, I can raise awareness without a bunch of “words from my sponsor” mixing my business with my activism. Yes, they will mingle like chocolate and peanut butter at times, but I will do my best not to make it a regular thing.  

Today,  I am writing about it to grow my business- of course, but I want to make clear my mission: Raising awareness and assisting non-profits without compensation.  I don’t want to be compensated by non-profits because it allows me to work with any non-profit I wish.  I play nice in “The Sandbox” with everyone who is working for cures and making information freely available.  I have the freedom of not competing for funds.  Non-profits have to work to get research and education funds from donors.  I want to help.

So, I’ve taken this post and rambled about my plans.  Thanks for reading.  Please “like” and “follow” where applicable.  And if you have an occasion for a gift or would like to try some great skin care, please keep my Votre Vu store in mind.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program…

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Feeling Square Peg-ish…

By Karen | Filed in Sarcoidosis, Scleroderma

 

 

At 42, I still feel like a square peg. Come on, you remember the show about Carrie before Sex in the City. I’m no Carrie. Actually, I’m more an Amanda because as I have been told by one or more dates that I am too analytical. I disagree. If I was truly analytical, I would have looked up the correct use of “too” in that last sentence. Maybe that’s the wrong use of analytical. Maybe I’m just plain sloppy. What were we talking about? Oh, right, I’m a square peg. I had nachos earlier though, and I feel more round than anything right now.

 

Two girls from the cast of 80's TV show, Square Pegs.

SJP before Sex in the City. I related more to Square Pegs.

 

I was feeling square peg-ish because I read other blogs and had problems relating. I kind of wondered that maybe I’m just a bit bitchy, but then I realized I enjoyed reading the stories of others. No, wait I didn’t enjoy reading: I loved reading about the good, the bad and finding hope – sometimes not find hope, but just being.   We all have different events, but share the same feelings of grief, loss and hope, from different victories and milestones.

 

Maybe what I failed to realize before I started writing this was that these three paragraphs may have taken up five minutes, you, the reader will never get back. Then, I thought if it took a person five minutes to read this, my syntax and grammar must be horrible, but my content is just interesting enough to keep you reading. And that like me, maybe you feel like a square peg too. Maybe we are all square pegs who are not so unique and alone, but because we feel like it, we remain isolated.

 

I think I just confused myself. What were we talking about? Oh, right: Sex in the City.

 

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