Hello! It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and I’ll catch you all up, but first, I see a lot of new readers so here is a little backstory. Those of you returning, welcome back! If you’d like to, skip the backstory, scroll down to Medical Mayhem.
In 1994, I was diagnosed with scleroderma, then in 2007 with sarcoidosis- that’s when I discovered chronic illnesses are just like potato chips: you’re going to have more than one.
After some harrowing infections, hospital stays, and new complications, I learned that if I could live through the worst of a complication, whatever I am going through is worth the fight because of what awaits me on the other side: More time with friends and family.
I have never called my diagnosis terminal. There have been some close calls and a few scares- not all related to my chronic illnesses. There are so many other ways to die.
Through the years, I learned to advocate for myself using humor. It started out by learning to explain scleroderma without making people cry. Today, most people I run into have heard of scleroderma thanks to Bob Saget and his work raising awareness and funds for a cure for the Scleroderma Research Foundation. But back in 1994, most people hadn’t heard of it, and those who did know, only knew of it as a death sentence. I am living proof that better treatments become available with time.
When my hands began to change, people asked more questions. I found that if I could bring in some humor, it kept people focused on what scleroderma was, instead of pitying me. Eventually, I used humor to teach doctors, nurses and anyone whomever would listen, about scleroderma.
I also have a little privilege as a veteran. Most people with scleroderma & sarcoidosis did not serve in the military. I did, and I have some badass benefits. I never have to choose between rent, medication or food like most people on Medicare and Social Security Disability. I have experience with private insurance before and after preexisting conditions were denied care, in addition to Medicare and Veterans healthcare.
I had health insurance from 2000 to 2008, used with my VA benefits. My current care is provided for free, and the rest of my life is through the VA. Now, instead of health insurance, I use Medicare to supplement my veterans care. My scleroderma & sarcoidosis expert is not part of the VA, so I use medicare to see him. He then prescribes medication and treatment. The rheumatologists at the VA and my outside specialists work together as a team.
Every veteran’s hospital is connected to a medical school which makes them teaching hospitals. My VA hospital works with UCLA, and my outside specialist is a UCLA faculty member. So my doctors from the VA have a relationship with my scleroderma specialist.
Medical Mayhem
I have been told many times by people with different experiences than mine that VAs should be privatized or they are not as good as private hospitals. Not every hospital is equal; however, VA healthcare makes as many mistakes as private healthcare.
As far as mistakes, the ONLY difference between VA Healthcare and private healthcare is a public relations budget. Insurance paid facilities with companies like United Healthcare, Kaiser, or Blue Shield, well we’re going to hear more about “thriving” than all of those mishaps and mistakes thanks to a giant advertising and PR budget. So when something goes wrong at the VA, we only hear about that.
Here is how the clinics at my VA are set up: A doctor who is learning a specialty by practicing is called a fellow. Fellowes are supervised by attending physicians, who are practicing physicians and members of UCLA Faculty. Fellowes see the patients, assess them and bring in the attending physician at the end of the appointment.
Every time I work with a new fellow, they assess me. I listen to what they have to say, and if it conflicts with past treatment, I kindly explain to them how my care works.
For example, I met one fellow who would not prescribe opiates to anyone. She was very new to rheumatology. Anyone who’s ever asked for an opioid, knows what it’s like to be viewed as a drug addict. So when I explained how sometimes I need to “reset” my pain levels by taking Norco for one day or two, then add motrin and tylenol and titrate down to zero. In other words, I need a fucking break.
Pain is part of aging. People with chronic illnesses just experience pain at a younger age and at level eleven. Even after explaining I’ve been doing this for 27 years, and it’s in my chart, she still refused to prescribe them. It used to make me very upset, but with time, I learned that when I don’t agree with a fellow, I wait to speak to the attending. I asked the fellow to speak to her attending about it.
I went home from my appointment with Norco. My “secret” is that I have been managing pain for twenty-seven years. I know the value of Tylenol and Motrin, and I know from experience at what pain level I need a break to rest without any pain, and then I’m good. The attending physicians I have been working with for years know this.
I get that being new to a chronic illness and reading that even after twenty-seven years, I would still need to teach doctors about it doesn’t sound very reassuring, but it isn’t to me. I feel like every doctor, nurse, and medical provider I can teach about my issues, will help future scleroderma patients.
There is no cure for most chronic illnesses, but I have benefitted from new treatments exponentially for the last three decades. If someone else is diagnosed with scleroderma today with my symptoms, they will avoid damage and complications I had. I’m no saint, it does suck, but the opportunity to help others with my experience is fulfilling. It helps me power through things and gives me hope that I will continue to lead a long and fulfilling life.
